Write it as a list; write it into a story; do a photo essay; make a collage. Consider including things which other people might not see, if they rifled through your luggage; experiences, memories, intentions. Tell us your destination (if you want to, if you know). What map (if any) will you use to chart your course? Will you strike out on your own, pack the newborn into a Snugli? Will you travel on foot, by car, by flying carpet or magic moped? Do you journey alone or shall we walk side by side?”
I was intrigued by the idea: An invitation to play, to explore my art and creativity day by day, one idea at a time. I thought, ” I can do this. It’s one idea a day. No pressure. No expectations. Play.”
For a number of reasons, some of them good and some of them not so much, I wasn’t able to read today’s prompt until late in the evening and suddenly what only a day ago had seemed a chance to experiment and play had turned into something resembling hard labour. Painful. Difficult. Anything but play.
I almost bagged it. Chalk it up to my 9-to-5 world and family responsibilities. Not enough time left to do justice to the topic or the project. Unable to bring anything remotely resembling excellence to this effort, why should I waste another person’s time with my halting attempts and awkward offerings.
And then I stumbled on this: “There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth. . . not going all the way, and not starting.” (Buddha, quoted on ThinkExist.com)
Not starting is a mistake? And anyway, when did I decide I wouldn’t leave the cave until I had my “stuff” together and I could exit confidently and take my “rightful” place among my fellow creatives? Didn’t I even promise that I was going to make mistakes and be awkward and trip over myself frequently? Does it follow that even a faltering beginning contains within it the possibility for something wondrous?
And so I have reconsidered. I am starting my journey with only a notebook, a pen and an open heart. I want to learn. I want to explore. I want to see where the road leads and stray from it as often as I can because far more interesting possibilities lie along the road less traveled (with apologies to Robert Frost).
My tendency to pre-judge the value, the worthiness of my creativity has no place on this journey and so I leave it behind as best I can. Like it or not, fellow travelers, you will get me in all my stumblings and awkward beginnings, middles and ends. It is said that fortune favours the bold. I claim no measure of boldness. I can only claim the sliver of courage that told me it was time to leave the cave and trust it is sufficient.
I’m trying to leave fear, doubt and resistance behind as well. They intrude where I don’t want them and pass judgement on what I gift to this journey. I expect they will catch up to me at some point but I pray I will be able to gently nudge them aside and fumble forward. Perhaps you will be there to help me?
I know I begin this journey alone but I hope to meet new friends along the way. I hope one day to share stories with each of you. I want to hear what has brought you to this place, to this particular journey at this time. Because I do not think it coincidental that we are all here at the same time.
Please visit Amy Oscar’s website and join the journey: http:/AmyOscar.com